VERBAL VORTEX     *    states of constant flux...      

More website problems, though it's only been back online for 2 weeks. Basically these problems have been nonstop since www.nwowatcher.com first launched way back in '04. Though I tried to persevere, cyber-fate has consistantly been mocking me from the beginning of my web voyages. Supsicious viruses sent to me, hacking, threats, attempted infiltrations, aggressive spam campaigns, increased fees meant to rip me off or shut me down... It's been blatant and unyeilding.

If I didn't know any better I'd say that the website has been sabotaged and purposefully attacked dozens of times in the past 5 years, and within minutes of the problems which arose today at the website, a helicopter (not an unmarked black helicopter, mind you) was circling my apartment for 20 minutes. Of course it would be paranoid of me to somehow connect the two events, but in this line of research you can't help it sometimes.

I'm trying to sort things out with the new hosting company, but can't help to get the impression that something ("GOD" itself?) doesn't want me to be doing what I'm doing. Needless to say some reconsiderations are in order. Even though I might be abbrassive and angry from time to time (surely some people think I'm a total asshole) I'm trying to do the right thing and get valuable information out to the public... yet all I seem to get is grief and troubles, interspersed by very brief moments of accomplishment or contentment. I don't regret it, but wonder if it's even worth it anymore.

It's one of those fucking days. You know the type, where you realize, for the 1000th time, that nobody really gives a shit. First off I've been dealing with a server transition for the past 2 weeks now, but can't help but to feel that I'm getting the run around from my hosting company. I've submitted two tickets, 2 live chats, and now they want me to call headquarters before they can finalize what should be a fairly routine clone/transfer of the website. To add insult to injury I tried to upload EPISODE #9 of the Upsidebackwards podcast today, but the file size exceeded limitations, so I gotta go back and edit everything down. On top of all that, a night full of BAD DREAMS... The type where your entire city is bombed to the ground, leaving smoldering piles of rubble and bodies in its wake.

It's just one of those days where I feel rather... chemically imbalanced and my stupid fucking neighbors are blaring their shitty music and I feel like going down there with a fucking machete and chopping all their heads off... Oh well, I'm going to go for a walk and try to get some fresh air, put things in perspective. Maybe watch a little 'Monty Python' later for some much needed laughs.